


Jaded

by imapseudonym



Series: Bloody Mary [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, F/M, Sexy Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-17 17:15:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/553966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imapseudonym/pseuds/imapseudonym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His hands gripped the table behind him, out of her sight, as he braced himself for this next question.  “So what do you want me to do about this?”<br/>He watched intently for her response.  Kanaya flicked out her tongue reflexively, running over her upper lip and fangs very quickly.  Karkat shuddered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Karkat sat on his stool as he grouchily messaged Terezi back. Why the fuck did they still communicate in person when they could physically get up and talk to each other? The keys clacked angrily with his harsh strokes.  
His argument was interrupted by Kanaya. “Karkat… can I ask something of you?”  
His head snapped up and his eyes narrowed took in her figure (undead, glowing, beautiful…), his moment of distraction allowed a wall of teal to build up on his screen. “What the fuck could you possibly want, Kanaya?” He took out his frustration on her just because she was the nearest sentient being, although he did try to tone it down around her… somewhat. “We finally got our shit together, now that that raging asshole has calmed down and those shitty humans are hitching a ride with us on this asteroid of fuckdom to this new universe. And yet, surprise surprise, someone has to throw their two cents and therefore a wrench in these plans.” Man, fuck mixed metaphors. “What could you possibly have to shit on now?”  
His rant actually seemed to phase her, which was odd. Nonetheless, she pressed on, though with a notable moment of hesitation. “I do not want to make it seem like I’m pressuring you, but this matter is very important to me. Would it be acceptable if we spoke… in private?” It sounded like the absolute last thing he would ever want to do, considering it meant being alone with the brand fucking new rainbow drinker, but on the other hand it was still Kanaya, his long time friend, and she looked so stressed…  
“Fine. Make it fast,” he sighed, pushing himself up from the desk. She led him down the hall into a dark, vacant room. “So what’s eating you so much that you feel the need to dump it on me, of all people?” He leaned against an empty table, the only furniture in the room.  
“Well, that’s actually what I need to address with you. Except, the issue does not pertain to what is eating me, so much as it is about what I’m not eating…”  
Karkat stared at her blankly, not comprehending her turn of phrase. She locked eyes with him, and eyebrow rose questioningly as the silence stretched. Her eyes filled with concern and her fangs began to worry at her bottom lip. Her fangs… He made and involuntary gagging noise as the lumonsityglobe went off in his head.  
“Honestly, I’m sorry to bring this up at all,” she said quickly. “But as of late, I have begun to notice that the situation is growing… urgent.”  
His hands gripped the table behind him, out of her sight, as he braced himself for this next question. “So what do you want me to do about this?”  
He watched intently for her response. Kanaya flicked out her tongue reflexively, running over her upper lip and fangs very quickly. Karkat shuddered.  
“I’m sorry Karkat. I do not want to burden you with my problems. I’ll just go ask Tere--“  
“NO! I-I mean… You can do it… to me… Wait, am I the first one you asked?”  
She nodded slowly.  
He sighed heavily, released his hold on the table, hands shaking slightly, and motioned her forward. “Well come on then.” His anxiety is barely contained. But… he couldn’t tell if he was more afraid or excited, which was disconcerting in itself.  
She glided over to him, more like a wraith than a troll now, and he pull down the collar of his shirt down, giving her more room to work with. She placed her hands very lightly on his shoulders, barely noticeable, before he felt her lips brush his exposed throat. He was trembling, legs wobbly, as he heard her sniff for the right place. He barely held back the whine as she planted her lips more firmly on his exposed flesh.  
He couldn’t help the gasp he expels as he feels her fangs sink in. “F-fuck.”  
She can’t respond while her mouth is occupied, but she rubs his shoulders, trying to reassure him and get him to relax. The sensation of her sucking made him blush furiously, and he reaches out and grips her arms as a life support.  
It was unsettling how much he liked this position, completely helpless and severely reliant on Kanaya’s self-control to not accidently kill him. He blissfully soaked in the warmth radiating from her body, his eyes drinking the soft glow her skin emitted. He vaguely realized he was glad she had asked him first; it made him feel special is some way. Which was probably really retarded, but shut up, nobody asked you.  
His head swam, the edges of his vision blurring as the blood loss began to catch up with him, and he couldn’t help but dwell on the flushed feelings he’d had for his friend lately. Maybe it was her change from a normal troll to rainbow drinker, maybe it was losing Terezi to a human, or maybe it was seeing so many of his friends murdered and consequently driving him more than a little mad. Whatever the asinine reason, he was getting off on Kanaya draining him.  
And Karkat had no idea how long she’d been drinking, or how much she’d already taken.  
“Kanaya… Are you almost d-done?”  
She pulled her head away, leaving him more than a little disappointed. “Yes, that should suffice for the time being.” But she didn’t release her hold on his shoulders.  
“What?” he asked brusquely. Her eyes were locked on his, but he couldn’t fathom what she was so intent on.  
Suddenly she leaned in very close.  
“What are you---“ He was cut off as Kanaya touched her lips against his. Karkat stiffened, taken off guard, tasting her lipstick and his own blood in his mouth.  
She kissed him for a moment, and then pulled back looking unsure. When he saw the uncertainty and regret in her eyes, he panicked. The hands already clutching her shoulders pulled her down so he could clumsily kiss her back, fangs hitting painfully together. Fortunately for him, she pulled back and inch and kissed him back more gently.  
He wrapped his arms around her neck. She responded by pushing harder into him, the table behind them pressing against the back of his thighs. Her tongue trailed over his lower lip before he opened up and invited her in. It twisted in his mouth, with this, filling his mouth with the taste of blood. She twisted one hand into his hair, trapping him against her. Not that he was fighting it. He was pulling on her arms, one wrapping around her waist, trying to get as much contact between their bodies as physically possible.  
Her free hand drifted downward slowly, trailing lightly against his spine and making him arch into her, until it reached the hem of his shirt. She pulled it up and over his head, and her fingers lightly brushed the tender ridges between his ribs, the remnants of his legs as a grub. He let out the most embarrassing moan, but she didn’t pause. He felt lightheaded from all the kissing (not to mention the blood loss), and tried to pull back, only to find she had some sort of death grip on his neck. She released his mouth eventually to let him gasp for air, only move her lips down to the untouched side of his throat.  
“Gah!” He let out a strangled cry of pleasure. He felt her purr of pleasure. “Kanaya,” he cooed, “please?”  
He could feel his knees turning to gelatin, so he scooted to sit on the table. She kissed his collarbones, biting lightly before sucking hard, making him gasp her name again. She continued to tease him as her mouth drifted downward slowly. Her hands caressed either side of his ribcage lovingly, while his hands clutched uselessly to the fabric on her shoulders. He panted erratically as she slowly pushed him down, until his back pressed against the surface of the table, legs dangling over the edge. Apparently she was very amused by the time she had worked her lips down to his stomach.  
“Karkat, you certainly comprehend how to care for the ladies, as Dave would say.” Her lips grazed his skin as she spoke, hovering just above the hemline of his trousers. This made it very hard for Karkat to give her a coherent answer.  
“F-fuck off. That nookstain can suck my throbbing bonebulge,” he spat finally. It was a mistake.  
“Speaking of which.” One of her hands lightly caressed the region. He gasp and sputtered at the contact.  
He caught her light chuckle and decided a little revenge was in order. He finally released her shoulders, and put either hand at the base of her horns. He stroked the sensitive skin, stimulating the nerves in her horns. Kanaya let out a sound that shocked him. It was a breathless whine, her light green flush deepening. Karkat’s blood pusher swelled to see the jade spread across her cheeks, contrasting her iridescent skin beautifully.  
He pulled her shirt off now, revealing her elegant undergarment. It was embarrassing how much he liked the black lace against her radiating pallor. She brought her mouth back to his. He rubbed his thumbs in slow circles on her horns, while she continued to massage his ribs. This produced a great deal of purring from the two of them.  
As it turned out, Kanaya’s patience wore out rather quickly. She scrambled to get out of her skirt after a few more minutes of making out. Then she proceeded to remove Karkat’s pants, without out really consulting him first.  
“Augh! Kanaya, are you so out of control that you can’t even give a guy a little notice before fucking undressing him. I mean, don’t get me wrong I’m flatter, but at least say something before you sta--“  
Her mouth pressed down again, cutting his rant off with a squeak. She grabbed his bottom lip and ran her fangs down until it slipped between them. He moaned softly and leaned into her. She pulled away, and the side of her mouth curved up minutely. He stared at her in dazed confusion. He didn’t understand why she was just standing in front of him.  
Then he felt her hand curl around his bulge, and began stroking him. His jaw dropped, and he quickly hissed in pain.  
“Watch it! Fuck!”  
“Sorry! Sorry…”  
Her motions slowed, stroking instead of pulling. He quickly began to gasp and awkwardly buck his hips with her hand. She looked unsure of herself, and Karkat felt his face flush harder as he watched her eyebrows pull together in uncertainty.  
“Um…”  
“What?” he panted.  
“Is this… okay?”  
“What? Yes, of fucking course.”  
“O-okay…”  
He pushed himself up, and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her, and she leaned into him, and gasped as he grabbed her bulge. He pressed it to his nook, and it slid in voluntarily. She let out a slow hiss, pushing her hips against him.  
When she was in, she leaned down and put one hand in his, intertwining their fingers. “Ready?” she asked. He nodded mutely, his eyes locked on hers, both hooded with pleasure. She took a deep breath, and then began to move her hips back and forth.  
Karkat let out another cry, shocked by the sensation. He thought his bloodpusher could implode any second now. Kanaya was flushed from her hairline to her chest, and she was panting heavily as well. Eventually Karkat regained enough sense to move his hips with hers. She let out her own cry at this, and picked up the pace. He wrapped his legs around her waist and synched up with her again.  
Karkat arched his back as the orgasm gripped him. He came all over his abdomen, and his sudden tensing caused him to clamp down on Kanaya’s bugle, and she came with him. They panted for a minute, letting their highs run their course. She laid her head down onto his chest, and he stroked her hair with his free hand, rubbing his thumb against the hand intertwined with his.  
They lay on the table together, her head nuzzled into the unhurt side of his neck, his arms wrapped around her slim waist. He buried his head in her hair, taking in the smell of cucumber and melon shampoo. Occasionally she kissed his throat or collarbone, sometimes sucking and making him squirm in response.  
“So,” he began.  
“So,” she repeated, sounding slightly amused.  
“I don’t see what you can find funny about this situation, Kanaya. I mean, it’s not like we just ‘did the nasty’ four fucking times. Oh no, nothing unusual about sleeping with your friend, I was only doing that with Sollux all the time until the fuckass went and spewed the mustard shit he called blood from every orifice and died. Yup, this is my everyday like, shagging friends and laughing about it after.”  
She waited until he was done to answer his original question. “I just find you endearing, Karkat. And I concede, perhaps that my reaction was not the most appropriate, considering the situation we find ourselves in at the present moment. Please excuse me, and go on. What were you going to say before I interrupted you?”  
He eyed her suspiciously, struggling to find the right words. Eventually he just huffed out the breath he had been holding and let it flood out. “Alright fine. I was just going to plead to your like the sniveling little idiot I am and beg you not to let this to just be a one night stand. I…” He got a little choked up, and had to stop and collect himself. His voice was quieter, but also more intense now. “Kanaya, I… really like you. I’d really like to try and make us work. Maybe I’m just and idiot, maybe we’re too different, hell, I am an idiot. But I’d really like to be with you.”  
Karkat felt like all his romcoms had poorly prepared him for this conversation. He should have been saying something sweet, comparing Kanaya to something impossibly beautiful, and his love for to an endless ocean, heaving with adoration.  
Apparently she didn’t need to hear that kind of garbage. “Karkat, I’d love to be your matesprit. I… I’ve felt flushed for you the moment I finally laid eyes on you.” She kissed the base of his throat, and he shuddered in pleasure. But he wasn’t done yet.  
“What about Rose?” he asked grudgingly.  
“What about Rose?” Kanaya asked evenly. “And, for that matter, what about Terezi?”  
“Ugh. Terezi has Douche Strider to keep her chalk warm now. What does she need me for? I just want to get over it and move on, you know?” He hated the pain in his chest, in his voice.  
She squeezed his shoulder. “I know. I felt the same way with Vriska. It hurts to see your old crush with another.” She let that sink in before continuing. “And Rose has made things very clear. We are friends, nothing more, nothing less. She still has John after all. Remember?”  
He was silent for a while, struggling with his next confession. He delayed so long that Kanaya lifted her head to see what was wrong. When their eyes met, Karkat’s face flushed, and he turned his head away.  
“What?” she asked, baffled.  
He met her eyes shyly. “I just… I’m glad that I don’t have to be alone anymore.” He rubbed the small of her back for emphasis.  
She smiled softly and touched her lips to his. “As someone would say in one of your beloved movies, you are never alone while I am here,” she murmured against his lips.  
They stayed that way for a long time. Eventually Kanaya moved back to her original position, but only after a fervent amount of kissing.  
“Oh, wait. I have one stipulation for this relationship,” Karkat mentioned.  
“And what would that be?” she asked, failing to keep the amusement out of her voice.  
“You can only take blood from me, you hear. From now on, I’m your only source of food on this gog forsaken rock. Got it?” he asked gravely.  
Kanaya was quiet for a long moment, letting the butterflies assault his nutrition sack for the time being. Then she lifted her head to the wound on the side of his neck. It was still bleeding a little bit. She traced her tongue through the blood, making him shudder and gasp in surprise.  
“Yes,” she said finally, “I can live with this.” Then she opened him up again.


	2. Chapter 2

The room was dim, the only light came from Karkat’s idle computer. It sat on his desk, forgotten, as the two trolls found themselves rather occupied on the couch. Kanaya shifted her weight and put a little space between them so they could catch their breath. Her matesprit squirmed underneath her, a little breathless and anxious to continue. He always worried he would ruin their bond, like there was a specific formula from his romcoms he needed to follow. She thought it was cute whenever he tried to be romantic.  
She lowered her self only enough to peck him on the nose. His breathing hitched and he tried to catch her lips. She smiled and pulled away to get a better look at him. His face was flushed, ears red, lips a little swollen from her soft nipping. 

His eyes widened with worry. “Kanaya,” he murmured, his hand curling around the back of her neck, drawing her down. She let him, but caught his bottom lip between her teeth and sucked. He moaned into her mouth and his eyes slid shut. She released his mouth to favor his neck. Kanaya pulled down his turtleneck and burrowed her fangs into the soft flesh. He moaned again, more quiet and breathless.

She wasn’t interested in feeding so much as getting this response out of him. Karkat had to start wearing turtlenecks, not to deter her but to hide the evidence of the extent of their exploits. Kanaya pushed said sweater up and off of him. She claimed his mouth again, and it happily parted letting her in. Her tongue twisted with his before tracing the lines of his fangs, exploring the roof of his mouth. She moved her hands up to hair, finding his horns and caressing them. He moaned loudly and glided his hands under her shirt, massaging her ribs. She gasped a little, hands stilling for a moment before she began again with much more fervor.

The two trolls were so occupied they didn’t notice the intrusion.

“Hey, best friend, do you think we could -- AH FUCK!”

What they did notice was the crash as Gamzee backed into a table and knocked it over, dumping its contents to the ground. Kanaya froze in surprise, and then wrenched herself up, hackles raised. She had reacted a beat too late, the door already slammed in Gamzee’s wake. She was about to push herself off the couch when her matesprit locked his arms around her neck, preventing her from hunting down his moirail.

“Wait,” Karkat said. “We’re not finished.” Oh gog. He was trying to use his “seductive” voice, trying to “fix the moment.” He tried to kiss her in a way to make her swoon, but she just wound up rolling her eyes at him. She obliged him nonetheless; her confrontation with Gamzee would have to wait.

She moved her mouth away to nuzzle in the crook of his neck, one hand drifting back to curl in his hair, stroking the base of his nub. He purred, and his hands slowly glided down to the hem of her shirt, slipping underneath. Karkat pulled top off before his hands settled on her hips, rubbing them gently and playing at her belt. Her lips curved and she sucked his collar bone so he’d moan her name deliciously before she let them go any further.

“Kanaya, ah,” he purred. 

She let her free hand slide down his side and stop at his fly. His hands stilled anticipation. She brought her other hand down to remove his pants. Karkat gasped and fumbled with her belt.

Kanaya stopped him, and he looked up in confusion. “Actually, I wanted to try something from one of Rose’s books this time…”

She moved them around so he was sitting on the couch and she was kneeling on the ground between his legs. She pulled down his undergarment, the last piece of clothing on him. She faced his bulge and slowly curled her fingers around its base. He gasped in surprise. She used her grip to keep him still as his bulge wriggled impatiently in her palm, writhing against her to get some friction.

Kanaya smiled a little before she pressed her lips to the tip of his bulge. Karkat let out a stream of expletives, and she waited for him to finish before going any further. She took the tip in her mouth, careful of her fangs, and he clamped a hand down on his mouth as he moaned. She slid the bulge slowly in, a few inches left over for her to keep her hand around the base. He bit down on his knuckle as she sucked, bobbing her head. His bulge was very hot, and it moved with her to bring Karkat closer and closer to his climax.  
“F-f-f-f-f-fuck… Kanay--AAAH,” he yelled suddenly as she ran her tongue over the opening of his bulge. 

She squeezed and rubbed the base of his bulge as he quickly dissolved to whimpering and moaning at her slightest touch. He finally came, it took her a bit off guard. She swallowed what she could, mouth and throat tingling, but some dribbled out, staining her chin with red. While she waited for him to catch his breath and calm down, Kanaya wiped her mouth clean, and then lapped at the genetic material on the back of her hand. She heard him gasp, and suddenly he was down to her level.

She was startled when Karkat was face to face with her. He pecked her on the lips once before he fumbled her belt off. He awkwardly shimmied her skirt her skirt down to her knees and roughly grabbed her bulge. She cried out in surprise as his mouths enveloped her, his tongue twisting against her. Her hands went to his hair, one hand catching a horn and stroking it vigorously. He made a sound close to a growl and then sucked hard. 

Kanaya panted erratically, and gasped when his fangs lightly brushed against her. He could almost fit her whole bulge in her mouth, but he kept his hand around the base like she had, massaging and squeezing. His hand and mouth quickly moved her to her peak and she released into his mouth too. Karkat wasn’t prepared and most of the liquid dribbled onto his hand and her legs.

The two just panted quietly for a minute, her hand on his head moving to run her fingers through his wild hair. He leaned back against the couch, his arms encircling her waist and pulling her towards him until their bodies were flush against one another. His thumbs rubbed her lower back in small circles as she pushed her arms up and around his shoulders. Kanaya pushed his chin up so they could touch lips together softly for a moment. They sat there cuddling for several minutes in utter bliss.

Kanaya moved her lips to his ear. “Are we done, or…?” She let him figure out the rest. Karkat eeped softly, and glanced at her shyly under his heavily lidded eyes.

She smirked and pecked him on the nose again, before she shifted her legs around. She pushed his legs up, bent at the knees, and she sat in his lap, shins on the ground, hips flush. She guided his already aroused bulge to her nook, gasping as it reflexively pushed into her. She lowered her hips until his full length was in her nook.

Karkat’s hands gripped her hips as she slowly moved. She gripped his shoulders, breathing heavily. He began to thrust his hips, moaning her name. Kanaya nuzzled in his hair, smelling the spicy-sweet cinnamon of his shampoo. She shuddered as she climaxed, jade spreading on their stomachs. He followed soon after, genetic material slowly dribbling out and down her legs. They stayed like that for a while, in each other’s arms, Kanaya in Karkat’s lap.

Eventually they cleaned up, put on a moderate amount of clothing, and curled up to the couch together, tucking her matesprit’s head under her chin. If she were to be honest, Kanaya could go another round, but there was a more pressing issue in her mind at the moment. She relaxed on the couch, but did not fall asleep. She feigned unconsciousness until she felt Karkat get up, extricating himself from her arms as gently as he could. She heard him doing something, probably getting dressed, and then slipped out of the room quietly.

Her eyes snapped open. Kanaya dressed quickly as well, and trailed after him. She kept enough distance for her to duck away if he checked behind him, which he did often, but close enough to ultimately find the room he and Gamzee must share. He went into the room, shut the door, and Kanaya heard the unmistakable sound of a lock. Which was fine with her.

She ducked into a hallway nearby, so she could hear anyone leave without being discovered. She sat on the ground, back to the wall and knees curled up to her chest. Her mind began to drift after some time, dwelling on how Karkat’s demeanor changed so drastically from when he was with others and when the two of them were alone. Her lips curved automatically as she pictured him, hair ruffled, eyes wide, face blushed cherry over gray. And then when his neck dripped cherry and he was still asking for more…  
She started when she heard a door swing open, wrenched from her daydream. She heard feet shuffle and a murmured “asshole”, before the troll shambled away. She held her breath, waiting a few minutes after the footsteps disappeared before standing up. Kanaya huffed out the breath and pushed herself up to stand. Her hand hovered over the knob, lipstick in her other hand at the ready. 

She turned the knob as quietly as she could, pushed the door open, but remained in the hallway just in case. Gamzee looked up from his husktop curiously, eyes widening as he took in her iridescent figure in the threshold.

“Uh, what’s up, sis?” His voice was unsure.

“Gamzee,” she replied politely. “You’ve been a thorn in my side for long enough.”

“What are you--”

Kanaya swung her weapon, chainsaw roaring to life. He pushed back, dodging her advance, but didn’t pull out his clubs. She took another swing, but he caught her wrist and twisted it painfully until she let it go and the lipstick clattered softly to the ground. With is other arm, he pushed her against the wall, forearm to her throat. Her free hand clawed at him to no avail.

“Hey now. I ain’t got no motherfucking black feels for you. Especially since you all up and make my moirail so happy,” he tried to appease.

She peeled her upper lip up and snarled delicately, one leg shooting out to kick him. He was prepared this time, shifting his hips so she glanced off his thigh.

“Just calm the fuck down, sister. I ain’t gonna hurt you,” he drawled. Her arm begged to differ. He let her arm go, only to grab her horn. He wrenched it sideways, head jerking with it. He let go of her to abscond while she doubled over in pain, head reeling.

Once she could see straight, she ran after him. He disappeared around a corner and she heard the whirl of a transportalizer. She came around the corner and transportalized as well, only to find herself in a new room with half a dozen more platforms. She cursed herself for letting him get away. She picked one at random, and it took her pretty close to the room she and Rose had dubbed the library. She shuffled off to meet her friend.

Rose greeted her as she walked into the room, and immediately pick up on her mood. “Did something happen?” she inquired.

Kanaya took a seat, put her chin in her hands and pouted elegantly. “It was Gamzee,” she mumbled after a moment.

“Ah, I see. Remind me again why you’re pursuing him? We had only just met in person when you started your hunt.”

“He killed two of our friends, and stole the bodies of four more. He’s dangerous, and I won’t let him hurt anyone else.” Her breath caught at the end, thinking of her matesprit and his proximity to that murderer.

“Hmm, well you might want to take a step back first and make sure there are no quadrants involved here.”

“What?” Quadrants? What was Rose getting at?

“I mean, are you sure you’re not feeling black for him? Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t caliginous relationships involve hate and violence?”

“Yes, but… No, I do not want to have Gamzee in any of my quadrants. Ever,” she said bluntly.

“Alright then.” But she didn’t sound convinced. “How did you find Gamzee anyway? I thought only Karkat knew where he was.”

“Oh Karkat led me to him. Gamzee had walked in on us and absconded, and Karkat had gone after him after we were done.”

“Done? What were you two doing?” she asked politely.

“Uh, we were… Erm.”

Rose looked up from her book and met Kanaya’s eyes directly. “… Is it a secret?” she guessed.

“Well, no. Karkat and I were, um, doing the normal activities one would expect from two matesprits… If that makes sense.” Kanaya dearly hoped she would not have to relay any more details. Explaining troll romance was not her favorite subject, especially explaining concupiscent quadrants.

A strange expression came over Rose. Her face seemed strangely… blank. “Are you two matesprits?” she questioned blandly.

“Yes? Our relationship is still relatively new, so we haven’t really said anything to you guys… Are you alright?”

Her lavender eyes seemed to cool and harden, more like polished jewels now then irises. “Excuse me,” she said, voice cool and indifferent as well. She strode out the room, leaving Kanaya bewildered in her wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /throws this here and scurries off


	3. Chapter 3

As the room slowly came into focus, all Karkat could see was fuchsia splattered everywhere. His ears suddenly picked up the sound of a chainsaw revving to life. He picked out a strange point of light before him that grew brighter and larger, until a ray of white blasted through a nearby troll.

“Kanaya!” His yell was lost to the cacaophony. 

She crumpled and collapsed to the ground. Karkat ran to her, slowly, he felt like he was running underwater, finding no purchase in the ground. The gap between them seemed to stretch even further as he struggled with each step. When he finally reached her, he crouched and hesitated, unsure of how to help her. He pushed his arm around her shoulders, pulling her head close to his. She was soaked in jade, a trickle of green oozing from the corner of her lips and trickling down past her chin.

Kanaya was still warm, but her body was cooling quickly, limbs stiffening. A soft sob escaped his lips before he touched them softly to hers. They were very soft and supple, but unresponsive. He crouched over her for what seemed like an endless moment, waiting, hoping. When Karkat finally pulled away, a loud sob broke from his chest this time. From the corner of his vision, he saw her murderer absconding, trails of white light streaking his vision. He didn’t give a fuck about that douche.

The lab seemed to dim as he clutched her, begging for a response. The glowing screens slowly faded away, and eventually Kanaya faded from his grip. He grabbed for her, for nothing, and then the floor disappeared from underneath. He flailed in the darkness, disoriented and panicked. His voice was lost in the void and it took a hard pap in the back to wake him up.

Karkat, gasping and shuddering, slowly got his bearings in the dark room. He was sprawled out on his worried moirail, having fallen asleep during a feelings jam. It was the room Gamzee general stayed, deep in the meteor and out of the way. Karkat laid his head back down and tried to calm his pummeling bloodpusher, reassuring himself that is was just a dream.

“You okay, best friend?” Gamzee languidly stroked his head as Karkat buried his face into his moirail’s chest. The gaping hole in her body still haunted him, still felt her blood staining his hands. Karkat choked and sobbed for several minutes, as Gamzee softly shooshed him for the worst of it. After some time passed, he’d finally quieted down, but trails of red still streaked from his eyes.

Gamzee rubbed slow circles on his bro’s back as Karkat sniveled and wiped his face with his sleeve. “Seriously brother, I think we up and need a feelings jam right about now,” he drawled, voice full of concern.

“Fine,” he huffed. He crossed his arms and stared at the floor, refusing to look up at Gamzee.

“Alright, bro. What did your pan motherfucking think of while you were getting your snooze on that made you so damn upset? It ain’t good to keep that shit all locked up in yourself; fucks with your mind.”

Karkat ground his teeth together, staring a hole into the floor, but remained quiet. Gamzee fidgeted once and a while, but otherwise stayed quiet, waiting. Gamzee’s patience outlasts his, like usual.

“Fine, I had a dream about Kanaya.” Gamzee made a choking noise

“Uh, bro, I don’t want to up and talk about that shit--“

“Shut the fuck up, asswipe. It wasn’t about that,” he snapped. Then his voice grew softer. “It was when I watched Eridan kill her. And I couldn’t do anything to stop him or save her. I’d thought I had lost her forever. And I’d have no one to blame but myself…” He looked up to see his moirail squirming in discomfort. He sighed harshly. “Now do you see why I didn’t want to fucking talk about it with you?”

“I motherfucking do. Sorry, best pale pal.”

“Whatever.” He pushed himself up and walked out the room, and Gamzee didn’t make a move to stop him. Karkat wandered through the halls for a bit. His chest ached, and he wanted to see his matesprit again, just to make sure she was okay, no matter how unlikely it was that something could have befallen her. He transpotalized up to the main floor they used and looked around for her. He found her in the room Terezi, Strider, and that carapace guy colored all the walls with chalk. 

It looked like Kanaya was talking to Terezi and Dave, but he didn’t give a fuck. He walked right up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, head nuzzling into the crook of her shoulder. He effectively cut off any conversation the three of them were having.

“Um, Karkat?” Kanaya awkwardly placed her hands on his shoulder. Dave coughed conspicuously, and it sounded like he threw in “pussy”, but Karkat just tightened his arms around her. Eventually he heard feet shuffling out of the room, Terezi’s cane occasionally tapping the ground. When they were alone, she pulled his head up, cupping his face in her hands.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Her eyes were filled with so much distress he kicked himself for being such a drama queen.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, eyes downcast. “It was a bad dream…”

She pressed her lips softly against his forehead, brushing his messy hair away. He purred a little and leaned back against her, her arms cradling his head against her chest. Kanaya combed her fingers through his hair, claws gently scratching his scalp in a way that slowly released the tension in his shoulders. 

“Can I ask about the dream?” she asked quietly.

He sighed and lifted his head to meet her lovely gray irises, with just a hint of jade forming in them. “It was about you… When Eridan hurt you,” his hands rubbed her back for emphasis, the long healed wound.

Her eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, and Gamzee didn’t exactly want to talk about us.”

She missed a beat. “Did he now?” her voice odd, but he didn’t pay any mind; they were talking about her death, it probably still haunted her.

“That hoofbeast’s ass didn’t feel very comfortable talking about red feelings. Makes sense, since he was never able to sort out that quadrant with Tavros, or whatever the fuck was going on there.” He shook his head. He did not understand his moirail sometimes. 

She settled her chin on the crown of his head, and then flinched a little.

“Are you okay?” he fussed.

“Yes, I just hurt my shoulder a little yesterday… when I was with Rose.”

“Hphm, be more careful then. You’re not exactly impervious, even if you are a rainbow drinker.” 

She chuckled into his hair. “I take that this is a sign that you’re feeling in somewhat better.” She nipped his ear softly and he jumped a little. 

He tilted his head up and touched his lips against her, the last of his agitation melting away from her warmth. The two of them stood like that for an endless moment, bodies   
flush, arms wrapped around one another. Karkat eventually retreated to take a breath, but she didn’t let him off that easily. She caught his lower lip between hers, sucking and dragging her fangs gently down the tender flesh. He shuddered, taken off guard, breath shaky. His face flushed, and she smiled mischievously at him, pushing her forehead against his, noses just barely touching.

“Okay, I think that’s the hint that I should go before things get out of hand,” he stuttered. They were still in Dave and Terezi’s room, and he didn’t exactly want to go any further for the risk of them coming back.

Kanaya chuckled. “Alright then. I guess I will see you later.” He flushed a little bit more from her emphasis on later.

“Yeah ok.” He gave her a quick peck before his temptress could suck him back in. 

He shuffled down the hallway and to a transportalizer, without any real place to go. He found himself in the main lab they had used before the humans had arrived, the same room where Eridan killed Kanaya and Feferi. He ran the fuck out of there, feeling his dream rear its ugly head, and picked a transportalizer at random. He looked around to get some bearing. Karkat was near the same room he’d just been with Kanaya, and also the room Rose had dubbed the library, he realized. He strolled in, trying not to look tense, curious to see if she would finally return his fucking book.

Rose looked up at him as he entered. “Is something the matter?” Fuck.

“No, everything is fucking fabulous. What could possibly be bothering me as we slowly head to a mysterious session of more shit eating humans, who now outnumber trolls apparently. No I’m the fucking epitome of relaxation over here.” Wow that rant was stupid.

She shrugged. “You looked a little apprehensive. And what with Kanaya, I just thought--“

“Wow okay, can I just have my fucking book ba-- WHAT? WHAT ABOUT KANAYA?”

She blinked, face otherwise expressionless. “Oh sorry you just seemed a little wan. I guess it’s not important th--“

“Shut up. If it’s about Kanaya, then it’s important. Tell me,” he demanded bluntly.

“Maybe you should ask her. It’s a little personal, and it’s not exactly in my place to tell you, especially if she doesn’t want you to know…”

He felt his blood turn to ice. “What? What happened?” he asked weakly. He went back and picked apart the conversation he had had no even ten minutes ago with his matesprit, agonizing over every little detail in the short pause Rose took.

“Well, she came in here earlier she was a bit… sullen.” She stopped again, much to Karkat’s frustration.

“And?” he insisted.

She cast her eyes down, and his stomach twisted in anxiety. “She had just come back after a confrontation with Gamzee…”

Karkat’s brain stilled, not expecting this at all. What about Kanaya and Gamz… Oh, was Kanaya still looking to kill his moirail? But Rose seemed to be suggesting something else.  
“And?” His voice was quieter, almost afraid she would answer, more afraid that she wouldn’t.

“…She seemed disappointed that he got away. Now, I’m not entirely familiar with kissmisitudes, but this did seem like… a matter of the heart.”

“Wait, how the fuck did she even find that dipshit? He’s pretty well hidden, I have to admit.”

“Um, well… She may have mentioned that… She followed you after your um, session.” Her hands fluttered about the table, trying to look busy as Karkat slowly sunk into a chair.

“She… Kanaya followed me to find Gamzee? After we, after we…” His mouth was too dry to continue. His bloodpusher felt constricted, making odd jerking motions instead of beating. A thought occurred to him, and he looked up to lock eyes with the human. “Did she say that she was black for him?” he choked.

Rose hesitated. “I did ask her. And… she didn’t respond.”

Karkat’s head fell into his hands in disbelief.

Rose began to speak quickly. “Now, this does not necessarily mean that her relationship was just a ruse to set up a calignous relationship with Gamzee. I highly doubt that Kanaya just, pretended to feel flushed for you this whole time Karkat. Kanaya is too caring to just play with someone’s feelings like that. Right?”

He felt his insides tense more and more with each word, until he was a little clenched ball of angst. He had no matesprit, he just had a very good actress on his hands. He wanted to laugh at himself for believing someone as wonderful and alluring would stoop to having someone like him for a flushed partner. It wouldn’t even had been as bad if she was just pretending to get his blood, but no, she was just interested in his moirail.

“Karkat?” Rose’s voice broke through his spiral into sadness. She placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, that under normal circumstances he would have shaken off.

His throat was too tight to speak, so he just shrugged pathetically. She patted him awkwardly on the shoulder, clearly very useless in the pale department.

“Now now. Would you like me to speak with Kanaya and get her side of the story first, just to clear up any misunderstandings?”

He lifted his head up, stinging eyes meeting hers, and just nodded weakly, unable to do much else. Then he curled back up, bringing his legs up with him, wrapping his arms around them to finish his fetal position in the chair. Rose left the room and let him be, which he appreciated.

He just sat there for an endless period of time, wallowing in uncertainly and dread. After sometime he came to the conclusion that he should just break of the relationship before she could use him again. Karkat didn’t know how it happened, but at some point he’d wandered out of the library, and made it close enough to Gamzee’s hiding place for his moirail to find him.

“Best friend, are you ok?” he asked with alarm, grabbing Karkat by the shoulders. Karkat slowly lifted his bleared gaze to meet Gamzee’s, tears running down the former’s face, unnoticed.

Gamzee panicked, lifted his moirail by then underarm, and plopped him inside of the room. He tried to shoosh and pap the tears away, to no avail.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaah, wow I've gotten a lot of hits thanks you guys uwu

Kanaya wandered in the depths meteor, unsure. She had a general idea of where Gamzee resided, but she couldn’t be sure he was still there since she found him. Half her mind was preoccupied with the sordid state her matesprit had been in the last time she’d seen him; Gamzee was clearly not keeping up his end of the relationship. Her mouth settled in a sour downturn as her arms ached to rip him up for hurting her friends, for tormenting her Karkat. 

A sound came around the corner that interrupted her brooding. She froze in the middle of the hallway. There it was again, it sounded like something was being dragged against the floor for a short distance, the sound of fabric rubbing concrete. She crept over to the source of the rustling, weapon at the ready.

She crouched close a threshold, ears straining. It wasn’t necessary; she heard the sound clearly, it was almost loud. Kanaya steeled herself for a moment before charging the door. A grave mistake.

He was ready for her. Gamzee’s arm shot out, easily snatching her by her vulnerable throat. She swung her chainsaw without restraint, aiming for his neck. His free hand had a club at the ready and struck her hand. She felt pain spike in her hand as the chainsaw spiral out of her grasp, flung halfway across the room by the momentum of his weapon. 

She hissed with pain and bared her fangs; much to her surprise, he let out a growl in response, so loud and fierce it stunned her to silence.

“Motherfucking slut, I ain’t interested in your bullshit. Not now. NOT MOTHERFUCKING EVER.”

As she recoiled her hand to cradle against her chest, she felt heat rise in her cheeks, flushing with anger and humiliation. How dare he purposely trap her, and then suggest she had just seeked him out for black feelings. And how. DARE he mock her flushed relationship with Karkat.

“Yes I am such a concubine for being ensnarled by you, you’ve caught me.” Human sarcasm.

“Bitch, do not even play with me. I KNOW YOU ONLY BANGED MY BRO TO GET IN MY PANTS. Oh and don’t you even try to motherfucking deny it.”

She recoiled as if he’d slapped her. She just gaped at him dumbstruck, not able to process what he had just said. He took that as a confirmation.

“Pft, look at this hoe, clamoring for my quadrants, desperate and low enough to go through a motherfucker’s moirail. ITS FUCKING DISGUSTIN--“

Kanaya lashed out her unhurt hand, claws at the ready. He jerked away, but she surprised him by going for his shoulder, sinking into the vulnerable joint. He snarled in pain as the grip on her throat weakened. She elbowed him in the chest and broke free from his grasp. Her rainbow drinker instincts must have flared to life because sank her fangs into his throat. She latched on, not to drink but to kill, but he grabbed her by the shoulders and wrenched her back, until her body slammed against the wall behind her, vision blurring for a moment. Any other time this weakness would have meant her end, but Gamzee was a little preoccupied to take advantage of her disorientation. 

She’d ripped open his neck, and his bloods was spurting out, purple quickly drenching the front of his shirt and hands as they tried to stop the flood with little success. Kanaya smirked at him, feeling the balance of power shift to her favor for once. She took a step towards him, only to receive a warning growl, but that did not deter her. She spotted her lipstick out of the corner of her, several feet away from them, Gamzee still partially in her path.

Kanaya tried to give him as little warning as possible before she dove for her weapon. He was only a second late as her followed her, slamming them both into on the ground. Just as she reached the chainsaw, he managed to smack it out of her grasp yet again. It clattered across the room, rolling under a piece of furniture. She hissed, pushing her hips up and forcing him off. He grabbed her by the hair as he tumbled off, her head wrenching back. He locked his arm around her neck, and her claws scrabbled at him as the air was cut off. They rolled around twice, three times, fighting for dominance, Kanaya finally throwing off his choke hold only for Gamzee to flip her on her back and straddled her hips. 

She was trapped between his gangly limbs, his body parallel to her own, pressing down to control her. He hissed as she shot up, fangs sinking into his hurt throat again, soaking in the purple.

He tasted different than Karkat, she noted abstractly, possibly because Karkat was a mutant, or they were just in very different castes. He squirmed, uncomfortable with her drinking his blood, but obviously afraid to cause more damage to his vitals. She realized that he must be losing a lot of blood by the way he leaned so heavily on his limbs to keep himself up. This thought distracted her from seeing his hand reaching up to hold hers, squeezing tightly. She gasped, letting go of his throat as she felt him grope the broken bones in her hand, purposefully aggravating the breaks. 

“Truce?” he offered grudgingly. She sneered in his face, but he only tightened her grip, and she choked.

“Fine,” she wheezed.

He untangled himself from her, and over the next few minutes they took care of her hand and his neck. As he sat in front of her, she kneeled in his lap as she wrapped the gauze around his throat. One of his hands was occupied, holding the other end of the fabric for her since she couldn’t tie the knot on her own now. His other hand was free to roam, and she was hyper aware of its touch, trailing lightly against her thigh and hip. It drifted to the waist of her skirt, pulling at the material experimentally. She gave him a warning growl, not in the mood to deal with his shit at the moment. His hand retreated back to safety, but soon enough it meandered across her leg again, fingers lightly brushing the back of her thigh. He journeyed upward, until he suddenly grabbed her ass. 

She jerked back, her hand finding a death grip on his gaunt shoulder. He glared right back at her as his hand now lightly cupped her thigh, clearly wanting higher again.

“What is your problem?” she sighed in frustration.

He let out one bitter laugh. “Girl, don’t even try to front with me. I know you only fucked my bro so you could fuck me, and I cannot. FUCKING BELIEVE. You’re pretending you aren’t aching for my motherfucking bulge.”

“What is your problem? I don’t feel black for you, you insufferable prick. And even if I did, I’m not using Karkat. I’m legitimately flushed for him. It’s not like you’d know anything about flushed relationships anyway,” she jabbed.

He grimaced, but quickly turned it into a mocking sneer. “Yeah babe, keep talking like that and you’ll really convince me.” His hand grabbed her again, but Kanaya didn’t fight it this time.

She even leaned in as his mouth met hers. Their teeth clashed angrily as they both fought for control. He wrapped his other hand, the one not currently groping her rear, around her, pressing her against his chest. She almost choked on his putrid stench. His mouth tasted like old soda and he reeked of decay. His ratty hair brushed against her forehead and neck and she hated every moment of it.

Gamzee pushed her suddenly, and she lost her balance for a moment. He slammed her to the ground again, and pinned her there (AGAIN), a smug and triumphant grin smeared across his face. She huffed and wriggled, finding little give and even less chance to escape. Not that she wanted to leave.

When he leaned in for another kiss, she caught his lower lip between hers, fangs dragging across the soft flesh hard enough for small scratches to well up with purple. He moaned into her mouth and let his full wait pin her to the ground, giving his hands the freedom to explore again as she gasped for air. He pulled her shirt up, but he didn’t pull it off her. Her arms and head were still clothed, trapped by the fabric and unable to see what he was doing. 

Kanaya fought with her shirt as she felt him work her skirt down, the cold of the bare concrete sinking into her flesh. She growled and thrashed viciously as he ran his hands across her exposed body, claws trailing lightly across her radiating skin, occasionally plunging into her flesh.. Her hips rocked against the ground impatiently, and she fidgeted in anticipation. She’d never had a kismesis before, nor did she know Gamzee very well, so she had little inkling of what was to come.

He grabbed her hips suddenly, lifting them up off the ground. He pushed her panties aside and forced himself roughly into her nook. She cried out in pain, but it soon turned to pleasure as she rocked her hips with his. She clawed pathetically, scrabbling at the floor and making small tears in her shirt. Gamzee shifted his hips a little and started moving faster. 

Kanaya felt like there was fire spreading over her skin, the buzz slowly sinking into her flesh, her bones. Her legs wrapped around his waist without out her permission. Jegus, she thought.

She quickly lost her train of thought as Gamzee’s hands were all over her again. One sank its claws into her thigh to keep her steady against him, as the other moved back up her torso. He fumbled with her underwear, searching for the clasp. She managed to free her head just as he clumsily released the hooks. She tried to glare up at him, but she soon lost that battle. She pitched her hips as he awkwardly kneaded her breast, clearly unsure what to do there. 

Kanaya growled at him. “Hurry up,” she snapped. He looked up from her chest and gave her an odd look. Then without warning, he lifted the rest of her body off the floor until she was flush against him.

She managed to wrap her still trapped arms around his shoulders awkwardly before he started up again. He thrusted even harder, gravity working for him now. She shuddered before she began bucking her hips with his again, matching his rhythm. It wasn’t long until her body shuddered to a stop and a warm flood of green spilled from her. He gasped in surprise, driven over the edge and climaxed as well.

After a minute or two of panting and clutching each other, she realized he was still mostly clothed, purple and jade material spreading across his shirt and trousers. She tugged his pants down, and he helpfully squirmed them off. Then she gingerly removed his shirt, broken hand throbbing in the effort. 

She placed one hand on his chest and pushed a little, only for him to vehemently resist. “Lay down,” she commanded. He submitting grudgingly, and she shifted them about to her liking. Kanaya sat on his stomach, facing his legs and hips. Her bulge slowly intertwined with his, and she got a little too much delight from his gasp. She cupped the two bulges lightly, letting them twist together and rub against her hand. She moved her hand down the base of Gamzee’s, and rubbed the sensitive skin as he writhed beneath her. 

He grunted as she brushed his nook. Kanaya let her fingers dance around, stimulating the sensitive flesh before pushing in one finger.

“MotherFUCK!” he swore, taken off guard. He panted lewdly as she moved, his hands coming up to squeeze her thighs. She smirked as he squirmed to her touch.

His hips bucked in rhythm with her, before shuddering to a stop as she inserted another finger. A string of curses stammered out of him, and she felt the flush on her face deepen. Suddenly he sat up and curled to her, his chest pressing against her back, head buried in her shoulder. It surprised her enough to still for the moment. Then one of his hands released her thigh and grabbed their still twined bulge. She gasped as he almost too roughly groped them, sometimes more pain than pleasure.  
Kanaya then remembered her position in his nook, and began moving just as roughly. He bit her shoulder. She inserted a third finger in response. Gamzee cursed breathlessly and licked the bruise he’d just made. His other hand came up to one of her breasts, fondling more successfully than his first attempt. They clumsily rutted their hips together.

She climaxed first this time, jade engulfing their hands. Gamzee followed after a few more thrusts, purple joining the party. His hand on their bulges wrapped around her waist and pulled her down with him as he lay back onto the floor. She listened as his breathing and bloodpusher slowed. He continued to touch her chest, alternating squeezing and pinching. She placed her good hand over his, while the bad one draped over his on her waist.

“Remind me again who isn’t motherfucking black,” he said quietly, breaking the long silence.

He irked her nerves. “Gamzee, I don’t know why you think this, but I did not start my matespritship with Karkat just so I could become your kismesis.”

“As motherfucking convincing you sound, the facts just don’t add up, babe.”

“What facts? What the hell are you talking about?” she demanded exasperately.

“You fucking FOLLOWED MY BRO TO FIND ME. Right after you to. MOTHERFUCKING PAILED.”

Her hair stood up on end when he talked like that, a cold knot of fear forming in her stomach each time. 

“That… I…” she murmured quietly. “It wasn’t like that. It was just a coincidence…”

“Fuck, girl.”

“What.”

“At least try to give me a good reason not to rip your sorry little head from the rest of your sweet bod for hurting him.”

She hissed an angry sigh through clenched teeth. “I wanted to kill you. I wasn’t looking for this, Gamzee. I didn’t want a kismesis.” She paused. “Is… Is Karkat truly upset with me? Does he really think I’ve been using him to get to you?” she asked quietly.

“What do you motherfucking think?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops sorry school got to me.

Karkat clacked angrily at his screen, frustrated yet again with coding. He still sucked eggs at it, but it reminded him of before the game started, of friends now passed…

He pushed away from the computer, rubbing his fists against his eyes. He heard the door open and shut quickly. He looked over to see his guest.

“Oh, Gamzee. Where hav--“ He stopped midsentence. Gamzee was beaten up, clothes ripped, purple staining skin and fabric. But there was jade on him too.

“Bro, I need to motherfuckin--“

“Get out.” Karkat didn’t raise his voice. He almost whispered it. The calm before the storm.

“Wha?”

“I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!” Karkat chased him out, Gamzee scurrying out of his path of destruction. 

Gamzee got away before he could get his hands on his moirail. “AND I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING SEE YOU COME BACK!” He slammed the door, hard enough to push himself back and for the sound to echo down the halls for a minute. He huffed and leaned his forehead against the door, shoulders slumping. 

Eventually he went back to his desk. He saw the shitty code and deleted it. Then he put his head down on the desk, arms curling around his head. He stayed like that for a while, ignoring the knots in his back, the steady throb in his head that was the beginning of a stress headache. His stomach clenched and unclenched, more from disgust than hunger.

A little knock interrupted his sulking. He didn’t move. They knocked again, hesitant but certain. On the eleventh knock Karkat conceded that they were persistent and shuffled over to the door. Rose’s eyes widened at the sight of him. Face pale, eyes bloodshot, figure crumpled in on itself.

“What do you want, Lalonde?” He sounded more tired than anything else.

“I’m sorry. This looks like a bad time, I’ll just go…”

He walked to the couch and motion her in. “Doesn’t fucking matter. May as well pile it on, rip off the bandage in one go.”

She took a seat next to him. “…What happened?”

“That sad excuse for a troll meandered in here, covered in his and Kanaya’s blood. I dumped his sorry ass.”

“You’re… You two aren’t moirails anymore???”

He buried his head in his hands. “I’m so done with all of his shit. It’s like I have to carry all of his burden and then my own as well. Do have any fucking idea how painful this has been for me? No you can’t, you’re a fucking human who barely understands one quadrant.”

She awkwardly rubbed his arm. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. Her touch was overly familiar, too close to being pale for comfort. He let it slide knowing she was just trying to help, even if she was making it worse.

“Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t lash out at you. I’m just…” He waved his hands around, waiting for the word to come to him. “I’m just tired.” Not the right word, but close enough.

“I won’t pretend that I fully comprehend the complexities of troll romance. But I think I can empathize with feelings of loss and emotional turmoil. I lost my mother.”

“Yeah, I remember. You went shit hive maggots.”

She made a choked laugh. “Yes, I… guess that is one way of putting it.”

“Rose, I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up.” She tried to interrupt but he waved her protests away. “You’re the only one to be up right with me on this whole fucking meteor. Well actually I guess Terezi goes into that category too. And that little fucker carapace guy.”

She finally let go of his arm. “I’m glad I could be of some comfort…”

“Oh yeah, why did you come over here in the first place?”

“Oh, uh…”

“What?”

“I um, maybe another time…” She got up to leave.

He caught her by the wrist. “Lalonde, just spit it out.”

“I think… this may be bad timing Karkat.”

“Jegus, just tell me already, I’ll find out soon enough on this fucking rock. If it’s bad it’s probably for the best for me to hear it from you rather than Strider shouting it down the halls.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” She sat back down.

“You’re damn right, I’m right.” He said it just to fill the awkward silence. “Gog, stop stalling and spill it.”

“I, uh, ran into Kanaya earlier…” 

He stiffened. “Go on,” he said after a moment.

“She um, told me about her new… quadrant.”

Karkat slowly let out a breath from his clenched teeth. He said nothing.

“I’m so sorry Karkat, I had no idea about you and Gamzee.”

“’S fine. It was bound to fail. Just glad I could kill two flutterbeasts with one fucking stone.”

“…Do you want to be alone?”

He did consider it. And came to a strange conclusion. “No.”

“Oh I… Do you want me to get Terezi?”

“No if it’s okay, could I just hang out with you for a little while?”

“I- yes, that’s fine.”

“…Thanks.”

“Do you mind if we relocate to the library?”

“Uh, sure. Actually that’s perfect.”

He followed her to a transportalizer that instantly sent them to the library. They sat across from one another, their own books in tow. Rose resumed her book, and Karkat began   
one without romance, an action and suspense filled novel, probably something John would also like. They sat quietly, absorbed in their own stories.

“Oh shoot,” Rose said after awhile.

“What?”

“I forgot something. I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.” He waved her away, trying to convince her that he’d be alright.

She left, and Karkat immersed himself back into his story. Some time passed before he heard the door open again.

“Did you find it?”

“Find what?”

He whirled in his seat at her voice. Kanaya was standing in the doorway. He squared his shoulders.

“What are you doing here?” he asked gruffly.

She opened and shut her mouth without managing to say anything. “Karkat, I’m sorry,” she finally managed to choke out.

“Ha.”

“No, I mean it. I never meant to hurt you. I never even meant to become Gamzee’s kismesis either…”

“Sure.”

“Karkat, I’m serious. I… I’m still flushed for you.”

He made a strangled noise. “Kanaya, I’m so done with you. If you don’t have the globes to tell me you used me and now you’re down, you shouldn’t be here. That, or you have   
THE BIGGEST FUCKING GLOBES TO THINK I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DID. You were never fucking flushed over me, you just wanted Gamzee. You can have that asswipe; I’m done with him, too.”

Her jaw dropped. “You broke up your moirailegence with Gamzee?”

“Hey,” he said defensively, “that jackass has nothing been nothing but stress for me. And then he went behind my back like that.” He shook his head in disbelief, more to himself than her.

“Karkat, I think you should reconsider. Your relationship was important not only for Gamzee, but for you as well.”

“I don’t think you’re in any position to be handing out advice, Kanaya,” he spat.

She recoiled. “Karkat… I had and have no intention of hurting you. And I’d like to salvage our relationship if we could. I also understand if you don’t want that. But please don’t lose you’re moirail from this. That’s all I ask.”

“I think you’ve done enough. Do you deny that you followed me to find Gamzee? Right after we…”

Her figure stiffened. He laughed bitterly.

“It wasn’t like that!”

“Yeah, like it even matters at this point.”

“Karkat, I’m trying to get through to you! I never used you or had ulterior motives. What happened with Gamzee was an accident-- I wanted to kill him!”

“Yeah, and you did such a great job too.”

“Ugh. Fine. I don’t want to talk to you if you’re going to be like this.” She turned to leave.

“Kanaya, if you leave now this will be the last conversation between us!”

“Fine!” She spun on her heel, slamming the door behind her.

“FINE!” he shouted. 

He spun back to face the table, but he was too angry to read. He paced around the library, sometimes stopping to look at covers. When the door opened again, he turned,   
hackles raised, ready to duke it out with whoever was going to fuck with him next. But it was just Rose.

“Hi?” she asked, uncertain.

He hesitated. “Sorry…”

“Did I… miss something?”

He turned away from her. “Kanaya was in here earlier…”

“Oh?” She tried to sound politely interested.

He sighed. “You can drop the act. Everyone is bound to know what a failure I am in redrom.”

“No, that’s not true. Just because things haven’t worked out with Kanaya doesn’t mean you’ve failed. A human expression we use is ‘There are plenty of fish in the ocean.’”

“Rose, unless I date the mayor or a fucking ghost, I don’t have any options. Dave and Terezi are a thing, I failed with both Kanaya and Gamzee, and you and John are waiting for each other or whatever. The ocean has been overfished.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadness ahoy.


	6. Chapter 6

Kanaya cursed as her needle broke, the thread twisting chaotically in her machine. She threw down her work in frustration, ignoring the ripping noises. She angrily kicked some pillows until there was a moderate sized pile for her. She dropped down on the cushions, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. She had tried to sew something just for fun, just get her mind away from Karkat. But she felt no inspiration or drive, so of course it came out as shit.

She eased back in to the pillows and sighed softly. Kanaya missed it when things were easy, when sewing was fun, when she was surrounded by friends instead of death and drama. Her anger and frustration evaporated, leaving behind fatigue in its wake. She felt empty and apathetic, content in lying in these cushions for a long while. She must have dozed off since she didn’t hear Rose knock. 

“Kanaya,” she said but got no response. She shook the troll’s shoulder to rouse her. Kanaya peered up at her through tear stained eyes for a moment, before they slid closed again. “Kanaya, come on now.” She pulled the troll into her lap, who just sagged into a rag doll in the seer’s capable hands.  
Rose rubbed her back as she cried into her friend’s shoulder. She was ashamed of her weakness, her uselessness now and before with her ex. Her shoulders jerked with the stream of tears, but at least she was quite. Kanaya was so thankful of Rose’s support, but she also felt so guilty to need it. She should be able to stand on her own, but she had been too badly broken.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, throat all choked up.

“Shhh,” Rose whispered. Kanaya trembled in her arms again for another minute before gathering her resolve.

“Rose, I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to do this. I need to get back on my feet by myself.” She choked a little before going on. “I just… need to move on. What happened was my fault and my fault alone, so I need to --“

“Kanaya,” Rose interrupted curtly. Kanaya was silenced effectively, waiting for her companion to continue. “You’re not at fault here, at least not for the most part.”

“Rose, thank you but it was my fault. If I hadn’t been keeping secrets I would have--“

“You,” she interrupted again but stopped just as abruptly. “You… aren’t the only one keeping secrets. I… I have not been totally honest with you, Kanaya.”

Kanaya waited for Rose to continue, but she stopped. “Oh?” Kanaya was still unsure what was bothering Rose.

“I-I’m flushed for you.”

Kanaya stared at her questioningly. Rose refused to meet her eyes or speak again.

“Oh. Is that so.” She tried to sound polite but failed spectacularly. She tried again. “I’m sorry, Rose. I just… I’m not ready. It’s been less than a week since Karkat--“

“I am aware. I didn’t just come here to tell you my feelings, Kanaya. I need to tell you the mistakes I made as a result of those feelings.”

Kanaya finally pulled back and looked her in the eye. Her jaw was tense, expression revealing nothing. Rose looked defensive, ready to justify her “mistakes.” “What could have you possibly have done?”

“I… may have suggested to Karkat that you’re relationship with him was just a stepping stone to reach Gamzee.”

Kanaya felt her mouth open a little in shock as she stared at Rose in horror. Rose wrapped her arms around herself, prepared for anything Kanaya would hurl at her. But the troll girl was still reeling.

“You… what?” she murmured faintly. “Because of you…”

“I’m not denying what I said was wrong--“

“Because of you, Karkat thinks I…”

“-- I came here to set the record straight and come clean with my actions.”

“… and he…” She was grasping at straws before she felt a small flame ignite in her chest. “Because of you, Karkat thinks I used him.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that Kanaya.”

“You used him. You twisted him all around with your mind games until he turned on me.” Her voice was quiet, but emotion smoldered from it.

“I… I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Rose admitted quietly.

“Didn’t mean for what to happen, Rose? Break up our matespritship??? Because I am fairly certain that it was your one intent this whole time.”

“… Fair enough. But I mostly mean Karkat’s relationship with Gamzee. I had no idea…” She shook her head in disbelief. “I did not realize he would break off that relationship as well.”

She met Kanaya’s eyes, and the guilt was there, the sadness. Rose was truly sorry, but that did not mean she deserved Kanaya’s forgiveness.

“Just… please just give me some space. I need to be alone right now.” Rose hesitated, clearly expecting something like the wrath of the horrorterrors to descend upon her, but she did leave Kanaya in silence.

Kanaya tried to calm her breathing, sucking breath between clenched fangs. As frustrated and annoyed she was with Rose, she couldn’t be outright angry at her. If anything, Kanaya was angry at herself for this fact. She knew she’d inevitably forgive the human, passing off her mistakes as cultural discrepancies and hormones. Because Kanaya could relate to Rose’s actions. She had dropped her role as auspitice, and was very much guilty of her two friends’ deaths for abandoning their quadrant. Kanaya had been too selfish, too preoccupied with her own feelings to do what was best. 

Not this time, she thought to herself.

Kanaya spent another moment to gather herself before she left her room. She had to do a little bit of searching before she was able to locate Karkat. She could tell by Dave sulking outside the movie room.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Is Karkat in there?”

“YUP. He’s taking up quality time I could be spending making fun of the little shit, hoarding my girlfriend. So thanks for that.”

“Karkat’s with Terezi right now?”

“Last I checked. Which was a millisecond ago.”

“Alright.” She steeled herself before knocking. Dave wished her good luck as Terezi called her in. 

Kanaya entered, and felt like a giant hand suddenly constricted her rib cage. Terezi and Karkat were curled up together on a pile of scalemates with one of Karkat’s romcoms. 

Karkat turned his head too look up at her and stiffened, but Kanaya was still busy wrestling with her own emotions. She realized she was jealous, and wanted to rip Terezi off of him. She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself.

“Hello,” she greeted stiffly.

“Hey, Kanaya,” Terezi said easily. Karkat remained silent.

Kanaya awkwardly cleared her throat before speaking again. “Would you mind giving us a private moment, Terezi?”

A silence stretched as the two former matesprits held their breath in anticipation. 

“Well of course you can,” she said, her voice oozing sugar sweetness. Kanaya wasn’t sure if her friend had also turned against her and was just being sarcastic.

But Terezi did get up to leave, and lifted her glasses to give Kanaya an exaggerated wink, leaving the rainbow drinker even more bewildered. The door shut softly and the two remaining trolls spent a childish amount of time avoiding each other’s eyes.

Kanaya’s heart had sunk, all her passion and resolve dissolving in his presence. 

“I’m sorry,” she offered lamely, tongue dry.

He snorted. “Are you really?” But he wasn't really asking.

“Karkat… I am partially responsible for what happened between us, I concede to that fact.”

“Partially?!? What are you going to blame me now?”

“Well… I guess you share a portion of the fault as well--“

He barked a short, bitter laugh. “Well alright then. I guess we can just pile our problems into a fire pit and burn that shit, forgetting any of this ever happened.”

“No, I didn’t come here to blame you. I wanted to set the record straight.” He finally met her eyes, and his were full of suspicion and confusion. She emphasized her words carefully. “Rose used you. She twisted your feelings around and suggested ideas until you just accepted them without question.” 

He opened his mouth, but after a second closed it again, unable to argue.

“I admit I made mistakes that did influence our break up, and I was wrong. But Rose told me that she manipulated us both to spiral out of our quadrant.”

Karkat finally found his voice. “Yeah? And why the hell would Rose do any of this shit??? She was trying to protect me.”

“But she wasn’t,” Kanaya insisted. “She was envious, and she let her jealousy cloud her judgment and sought to destroy what we had. She told me that she was flushed for me Karkat. She felt slighted.”

Karkat watched her closely and absorbed what she told him silently. When she was done he was quiet for another minute. Kanaya shifted uncomfortably as she waited for him to say something.

“So what now? Are we actually going to just throw out everything that happened and start over brand spanking new?” He stared at her with those large, innocent eyes again, and she felt her heart squeeze a little bit.

“No. I didn’t come here to ask you to do that. I don’t know if we should start a romantic relationship again, especially so soon. But I do insist we call a ceasefire and stop people on the meteor from taking sides. There are so few of us we need to all stick together.” He nodded slowly in agreement.

She smirked a little. “And I believe Dave would appreciate having his girlfriend back.” Just as she suspected, a furious string of curses and badmouthing came from Karkat, but it was more forced with the antagonism than usual.

“But the paramount reason I wanted to talk to you is to plead for you to reestablish your moiralligence with Gamzee. He needs you.” Karkat tried to cut her off, but she continued. 

“You’re the only who can stop him from annihilating the rest of us. Will you please consider it?”

He gritted his teeth for a moment before spitting out a “FINE!” and stalked toward the room. Kanaya smiled at him but caught him in the door way.

“What now?” he said in exasperation.

She politely held out her hand towards him. It was up to him to accept or refuse her offer. He stared at her hand for a moment before grasping it in his and giving her a firm shake. His fiery, determined eyes met hers before he left her alone in that room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't this story have smut in it before? (sorry for the lack of lovings)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, its epilogue-y. I made a second part so maybe there will be romance plotless stuff in the future???

Karkat shuffled his way down the hall. This would be the first time seeing Gamzee since discovering his kismesitude with Kanaya. He was mortified that he had fallen for Rose’s ploy so easily, mortified that he would turn on his friends so quickly with no real proof.

He came to the room Gamzee usually occupied. Karkat took a deep breath to brace himself. He waited, and then decided to walk around the hall to make sure it was the right room. He shambled around the meteor’s maze like structure like an idiot before arriving to the same door again. He still hesitated.

He tried to listen closely to hear if anyone was even inside; maybe Gamzee had relocate. The hall was silent, and the room beyond gave no indication that it was occupied. Karkat cursed to himself under his breath. He raised his arm up, pausing again like the dumbass he is. He knocked and waited.

He held his breath as the seconds dragged by. There was no response. He huffed and rolled back on his heels. He knocked again, harder, angrier. Crossed his arms defensively and waited again.

Nothing.

“Hey, asshole. Are you in there or what?” he shouted, pounding on the door again. He tried the knob but it was locked. He chewed his lower lip. “Fuck.”

He gave up on the room, and dragged his feet back to where Kanaya was probably waiting for him. She could only look forward to him disappointing her, couldn’t she?

“GOD DAMMIT.” He yelled into the empty hall.

“Bro?” Or so he thought.

Karkat jumped and swiveled to find a stunned Gamzee, stoner eyes wide with surprise. The two stood frozen for a moment, both taken off guard by the other’s presence.

“Hey Gamzee,” he said quietly. His former moirail loomed over him, silent. “I came here to apologize. I didn’t-“

“What.” Gamzee cut in. “Why the fuck are you sorry. I’m the motherfucker who destroyed everything. I…” He got choked up.

Karkat shook his head slowly. “No, I fucked up. I turned on you at the drop of a hat. I couldn’t deal with you and Kanaya being in a quadrant together while I was with her. And I’m really. Really. Fucking sorry.”

Gamzee just ogled at him, lost for words. Karkat huffed through clenched.

“If you think you could find it in your bloodpusher to forgive this fuck up, I would… like to be back in your pale quadrant.” His face flushed a little at the end. He didn’t deserve   
Gamzee’s forgiveness, let alone to return groveling on his knees to their quadrant.

“Wha- Yes! Yeah of fucking course, motherfucker.” He waver. “Are you really sure you want to take back my sad clown ass back?”

“Obviously, assmuncher.” Karkat held his arms out for him. He hesitated before taking two quick strides and pulling the two of them into a hug. His arms were gentle against 

Karkat, like he would ruin it if he was too enthusiastic to hug him. Karkat on the other hand wrapped his arms around that dumbass’s bony waist and held on like a hydraulic clamp. Gamzee chuckled at him.

He ran his large palm over Karkat’s head, between his horns, before settling his hand on his tense shoulders. Gamzee pulled back slightly after a moment.

“But bro, I don’t want you to give up on that jade bitch just because of me.”

“What.”

“I want you to be happy, even if that means she’s a huge slut I’d love to see painted across the wall. I think she might just be your miracle.”

“Ugh.” He pushed his face into Gamzee’s stomach. 

“Just tell me you ain’t gonna give up on her just because of me.”

He didn’t say anything. Until finally.

“I’ll think about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka they totally did.


End file.
